i am capable, i clean up a lot of stool: more related than i'd like to admit.

no matter how much i whine about the varying kinds of excrement these first two weeks have brought me, i have to honestly admit that there is very little i can think of that is more heart-warming and conscience-satisfying than having my newly cleaned and wiped grandmother look at me and say, "evie, you're so capable."

taken out of context, it's one of the most encouraging things i've ever been told.
(it's not quite as encouraging if left totally in context, in which case it means "evie, you're so capable of cleaning fecal matter out of my clothing and carpet," which, um, is true i guess but really i find that the specifics kind of trample the reassurance that i think was meant rather generally)

anyway, it's nice to be told you're capable, especially when the first two weeks of Moving Somewhere New are so downright discouraging. not that i'm discouraged. there's no complaining here. i'm sure once all the turmoil gets settled, life will pick up and move good places, it's just The Meantime that rings softly of whatever loneliness it is that accompanies the realization that one has removed oneself from the active lives of those one cares about in order to face an uncertainty that kind of resembles emptiness and kind of resembles happiness and absolutely reeks of cold cream and cat litter and occasionally looks at one and says, "evie, you're so capable."

capable! i suppose we'll see if that's an appropriate adjective. another great thing about living with my grandmother and not having any friends (except Nathan, but he is a two hour commute away for the moment) is that she gets the NYTimes every day. my crossword skills are improving drastically. also i am already on book 2 of Remembrance of Things Past. now if i could only get my resume completed and sent out, productivity would seem more balanced.

i.. i cheated to finish the top right corner
turns out Dustin Hoffman starred in a 6-letter, 1987 flop called "Ishtar"